A minor at heart

On July 28th, I celebrated a quarter-century of existence on this planet. I really meant to have something profound written up about it, but the bottom line is that it’s just… there. Since moving to San Francisco, my whole life has changed on a different level. I think less about the future and the past, more about the present, and this allows me to enjoy myself for the first time. Not to say I wasn’t having a lot of fun before, but I really am…blissfully happy here.

For example, today Christine, Jon and I took a group of 22 six-to-twelve-year olds and showed them around the Farm. It was amazing, I felt so natural guiding them around (with the curriculum that Chris came up with) and telling them about plants, bees, pollination, compost and growing. Hell, I don’t even know that much but I know what kids need to hear! It’s just…I feel confident and comfortable and amazed at myself that I can do it and that it feels right. I don’t have those feelings of intense self-doubt right before I speak to large crowds; I just do it.

I am what I wanted to be. It’s taken 25 years and now I have other goals. But I’m happy. I’m going back to build more houses for Habitat For Humanity, but this time with the San Francisco affiliate. It’s a lot smaller and has more of a family vibe, I can’t wait. I love writing for Punknews.org, it’s all about the support that Aubin, Adam, Brian, Meg and Chris have given me. Add in my friends and family that are out here…and it’s just “right.”

I have trouble writing anything profound at the moment. It’s taken me two days to get this out.

The problem is that sometimes you need some depression to help give you a voice. Sometimes you don’t. Right now it appears that I do. Granted, there’s certainly someone in my life (well, maybe not in my life anymore) that is attempting to drive me there, but it’s an oh well situation. Why care about the small things that make you unhappy? Just read Doris and get over it. Done and done.

I’m twenty-five.

Nice to meet you.